Adaptability...

I'm about three-quarters finished 'Forgotten' by Catherine McKenzie and a dialogue got to me.  Some background first - if you had the choice to start over, would you take it?  Emma is visiting Africa for a month when she falls ill and gets caught in an earthquake.  Returning home six months later when the infrastructure recovers, all her friends presumed she died.  She has no family, no belongings (her apartment got rented out), she's having relationship issues and her workplace as a lawyer has effectively been reset.

Pretty sucky predicament, no?

I can't stand the writing because it's basic and lacks depth.  A lot of the description is wasted on judgements or what someone is wearing rather than the way they are behaving ~ it's like a teenage wrote it.  The characters are either impulsive or one-track, disappointing since most are in their 30s.  It's been a frustrating read but I'll see it to the end.  I still find the plot intriguing so I can't trash the novel completely.  I digress.  The dialogue that got me thinking is between Emma and her closest friend...

"I just wish my life would go back to the way it was."

"Why?"

"Because I was happy then. Things weren't perfect, but still. I knew where I fit. I knew where I was going."

"And you don't feel that way anymore?"

"No. I feel kind of...lost in the middle of my own life, if that makes any sense."

"I think it's normal to feel that way after everything you've been through."

"Then how do I make it go away?"

"Not by expecting everything to go back to the way it was, I don't think. Your life has changed, whether you wanted it or not. You have to adapt."

"How do I do that?"

I feel for Emma a little.  When I went travelling I told everyone I would be in China for two months.  People got a little concerned when I didn't come back for another five months.  My family knew and eventually the friends who followed my Twitter did as well.  In that moment of not knowing I'm sure I was forgotten but the thought never occurred to me.  Rather I kept thinking "I wish you guys where here!"  When I came home with a changed perspective, nothing felt quite the same.  My sense of happiness was different and fitting that into my old lifestyle just didn't work.

I had to adapt.  I feel as though I'm on the right path because I'm not expecting things to go back to the way they were.  I don't want them to either.  I have goals that the old me would never have made.  I've changed because of travelling and the reason I'll adapt is also because of travelling!

While on the road, flexibility and adaptability were crucial to enjoying a different culture, facing various challenges (language and transportation) and even getting along with fellow backpackers.  I was in Laos for a month; half the time I was tagging with a group of six.  It was nice to feel secure and constantly have someone to talk to but compromise and privacy were drowned out.  I didn't feel like myself at all .  It was difficult saying goodbye to new friends but it was also a relief.  In contrast, while I was in Cambodia and Vietnam I had an awesome time with two others!  We struck a great balance between being adventurous and giving each other space to mellow out.

Choose the bigger life.