Hit the heart

I made a bunch of mistakes today but luckily I work with forgiving people. It still weights on my conscious so I have to forgive myself...

— dumpling (@domoredumpling) April 28, 2015

I forgave but I didn't learn.  I'm such an idiot.

I lost my job today ~ one that I was very proud to have because I'd been part of the team since nearly the beginning (a dozen people have come and gone).  For over a year I invested a lot of time and energy with the goal of taking on a managerial role, and I threw all that hard work away by opening my mouth.

Perhaps over the course of a couple months I kept shooting myself in the foot while being forgiven.  Not surprisingly someday I'd hit the heart.  I think that if I had been more well liked instead of respected than the outcome might have differed, but I didn't feel like I had any friends there, only colleagues.

I deserved the consequences to my actions, I just regret not filtering or thinking about the things I said to people.  It'll be a painful lesson but I can only move forward.  I didn't expect having to restart so soon - I always thought I'd burnout and quit - but now I can travel (ironically I was thinking about taking a vacation in June).