My Kid is outstanding ~ he made everyone in the cafeteria aware of that after doing effortless handstands at our first Activity Day. I was as much impressed as I was concerned he might hurt himself considering we'd only spoken over the phone once. Genuinely not knowing what to expect is frightening when so often we reach for answers in our handhelds. This refreshing feeling washed over as I became very conscious about what other Kids, KidCoaches, Crew Captains and Site Leaders thought. It is such an adult concern that learning to unlearn certain social filters became a big part of my journey.
The First Call I made to my Kid and his parent I must've rehearsed a dozen times. I was excited to have all these ideas waiting to be accomplished and to make an incredible impact on our community! It is a passion every KidCoach shares or else we wouldn't be where we were. Thankfully there was a call protocol that helped ease us into our roles and guide the expectations. My call was a humble and sobering reminder of what Future Possibilities for Kids is all about.
When I spoke to my Kids mother, I learned about a single parent wanting their child to be put back on the right track. She explained how her son struggled in school due to a late start and recognized that a lack in focus was because of a change in space. Upset by the recent absence of his older brother - a delinquent - my Kid didn't feel connected and lacked self-confidence. One of the challenges we faced was reading the weekly activities and dispelling an I can't attitude. Concluding each call I was humbled by the mothers gratitude ~ I could sense how difficult it was being a provider but she always radiated optimism and support.
We are volunteers entering a child's life, for a limited amount of time, building belief in a leadership process that's life long. No easy task considering how many other roles and influences are part of a Kids daily life. And this is very important because the expectations we have on ourselves shouldn't determine the accomplishments. There were moments when I didn't feel qualified to guide a child's decisions. Do not take it personally and do not judge, but make the time valuable. It is all about the Kid. We listen and acknowledge, encourage possibilities, identify and hold accountable, and celebrate action.
When I flip through my weekly activities binder I see pages of progress and outward thinking. Some of my notes highlight personal stories and lessons that relate to the weekly objectives. For example, one objective was to explore decision-making options when faced with situations that lead to possible consequences. At the time my Kid had difficulty focusing in school and it felt like his attention was set on other things. I reminded him that: "Just as I have many important responsibilities at work, home and to my community; learning is your most important job right now." We considered different ways of prioritizing what needed to be done, as well as balancing what he wanted to do. I strongly associate positive attitude with being a good leader and so positive reinforcement became an active response.
A part of leadership building in the Ready, Set, Goal! program is setting and achieving a self-defined "Goal of Contribution" - a goal the Kids come up with that benefits their community, school, or family. One challenge my Kid and I worked through was deciding who to help using his passion for dancing. Realizing the amount of work needed for ideas to become realities is a process of actively trying and learning. Too many possibilities is a funny predicament and coming up with a goal that we stuck with took several weeks.
As a kid I wasn't good at school. I found it difficult to understand certain concepts and the idea of doing homework or practice seemed like a huge chore. A lot of my accomplishments were driven by rewards, but most importantly an unyielding amount of support from my parents and teachers. They never stopped finding ways to help me and I never wanted to let them down. Bringing up this similarity with my Kid helped identify accountability and perspective. He decided that creating a dance club would be his goal because it meant helping his peers become more confident in themselves.
Throughout the six month program I had the most fun being with my Kid at the Activity Days. His occasional shyness over the phone was replaced by extraordinary amounts of energy! The change in environment allowed him to opened up - sometimes ostentatiously - and rarely were their moments that lacked great expression. Besides working on furthering our goals, team building activities with our crew helped flourish possibility thinking ~ the envisioning of something that doesn't exist, but making it so by starting with an idea.
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